The Excess Baggage of Bitterness
Part 1 of the “Getting Over It” Lenten message series
23 “For this reason the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his slaves. 24 And when he had begun to settle them, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. 25 But since he did not have the means to repay, his master commanded that he be sold, along with his wife and children and all that he had, and repayment be made. 26 So the slave fell to the ground and prostrated himself before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you everything.’ 27 And the master of that slave felt compassion, and he released him and forgave him the debt. 28 But that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and he seized him and began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay back what you owe!’ 29 So his fellow slave fell to the ground and began to plead with him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you.’
30 But he was unwilling, and went and threw him in prison until he would pay back what was owed. 31 So when his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were deeply grieved and came and reported to their master all that had happened. 32 Then summoning him, his master said to him, ‘You wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 33 Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave, in the same way that I had mercy on you?’ 34 And his master, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he would repay all that was owed him. 35 My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.” – Matthew 18:23-35 (NASB)
The BIG Idea for Part 1 of “Getting Over it:”
We are not meant to carry the weight of bitterness and anger, but we can trade them for freedom and peace through Christ. Jesus offers us freedom and peace in exchange for the bitterness and anger we experience.
The Message Notes:
The two servants portrayed in the story Jesus shares portrays what humankind often does to one another.
31 All bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and slander must be removed from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. – Ephesians 4:31-32 (NASB)
Bitterness – “extreme wickedness,” “a bitter root, and so producing a bitter fruit,” “bitter hatred.”
Bitterness never begins as bitterness. It begins with unforgiven pain.
“Our lack of forgiveness is why we choose to hold onto bitterness, letting it ripen into full grown resentment. While it looks like we are unable to forgive, sometimes we need to face that we are unwilling.” – Anne Peterson, “How to Deal with Bitterness and Resentment,” (2019)
“Carrying the heavy weight of bitterness and resentment can cause physical problems and lead to strain, even in relationships other than the one causing pain.” – Mayo Clinic, “Forgiveness,” (2020)
ILLUSTRATION: The Star Wars character of Darth Vader
“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” – The character of Yoda on how Darth Vader came to be in the story.
ILLUSTRATION: When a single well is poisoned, ALL of the water in the well is poisoned – not just some of it.
Why do we choose to carry the weight of unforgiveness?
ILLUSTRATION: ICAO Guidelines for cargo weight safety for domestic and international flights
Jesus commands us to forgive because Jesus has forgiven us.
“Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” - Colossians 3:13 (NLT)
“God forgave all of our sins. He cancelled the record that contained the charges against us. He took it and destroyed it by nailing it to Christ’s cross.” - Colossians 2:13-14 (NLT)
Knowing Jesus commands us to forgive is one thing, but finding the courage to do so is another.
How do I forgive?
By relinquishing my right to get even.
“ . . . Never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God, for He has said He will repay those who deserve it.” - Romans 12:19 (LB)
By responding to evil with good.
“ . . . Do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who mistreat you.” - Luke 6:27-28 (NIV)
By repeating these steps as long as necessary.
“Peter asked, ‘Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times? ‘No,’ Jesus replied. ‘Seventy times seven!’” - Matthew 18:21-22 (NLT)
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. – Hebrews 12:1 (NLT)
By rescuing others with the Good News of forgiveness.
“Through Christ, God made peace between us and Himself, and God gave us the work of telling everyone about the peace we can have with Him. God was in Christ, making peace between the world and Himself. In Christ, God did not hold the world guilty of its sins. And He gave us the message of peace. So we have been sent to speak for Christ!” - II Corinthians 5:18-20 (NCV)
The strength to forgive comes from God and grows when we begin to pray for the person.
“God doesn’t ask you to forgive to heal the other person. God asks you to forgive to heal you.” – Craig Groeschel
ILLUSTRATION: Corrie Ten Boom and the Nazi concentration camp guards
“I forgive you, brother!” I cried. “With all my heart.” For a long moment we grasped each other’s hands, the former guard and the former prisoner. I had never known God’s love so intensely, as I did then. But even so, I realized it is not my love. I had tried, and did not have the power. It was the power of the Holy Spirit.” – Corrie Ten Boom, ‘Tramp for the Lord,’ (1978)
How are our invisible burdens weighing us down in our journey today?
Jesus offers us freedom and peace in exchange for the bitterness and anger we experience in life due to a spirit of bitterness and unforgiveness.
Questions for Reflection:
Is there any bitterness in my life? If so, what is the root of it?
Have you ever experienced anyone feeling bitter toward you?
Have you met someone who had every right to hold on to feelings of hatred, anger, or bitterness, but chose to not indulge in the negative? What did you learn from their story?
How can remaining bitter affect our faith journey and relationship with God?
How can exchanging bitterness for freedom affect our relationship with God?
Have you asked God to work in and through you to free you from the excess baggage of bitterness and unforgiveness?
30 But he was unwilling, and went and threw him in prison until he would pay back what was owed. 31 So when his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were deeply grieved and came and reported to their master all that had happened. 32 Then summoning him, his master said to him, ‘You wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 33 Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave, in the same way that I had mercy on you?’ 34 And his master, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he would repay all that was owed him. 35 My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.” – Matthew 18:23-35 (NASB)
The BIG Idea for Part 1 of “Getting Over it:”
We are not meant to carry the weight of bitterness and anger, but we can trade them for freedom and peace through Christ. Jesus offers us freedom and peace in exchange for the bitterness and anger we experience.
The Message Notes:
The two servants portrayed in the story Jesus shares portrays what humankind often does to one another.
31 All bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and slander must be removed from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. – Ephesians 4:31-32 (NASB)
Bitterness – “extreme wickedness,” “a bitter root, and so producing a bitter fruit,” “bitter hatred.”
Bitterness never begins as bitterness. It begins with unforgiven pain.
“Our lack of forgiveness is why we choose to hold onto bitterness, letting it ripen into full grown resentment. While it looks like we are unable to forgive, sometimes we need to face that we are unwilling.” – Anne Peterson, “How to Deal with Bitterness and Resentment,” (2019)
“Carrying the heavy weight of bitterness and resentment can cause physical problems and lead to strain, even in relationships other than the one causing pain.” – Mayo Clinic, “Forgiveness,” (2020)
ILLUSTRATION: The Star Wars character of Darth Vader
“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” – The character of Yoda on how Darth Vader came to be in the story.
ILLUSTRATION: When a single well is poisoned, ALL of the water in the well is poisoned – not just some of it.
Why do we choose to carry the weight of unforgiveness?
ILLUSTRATION: ICAO Guidelines for cargo weight safety for domestic and international flights
Jesus commands us to forgive because Jesus has forgiven us.
“Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” - Colossians 3:13 (NLT)
“God forgave all of our sins. He cancelled the record that contained the charges against us. He took it and destroyed it by nailing it to Christ’s cross.” - Colossians 2:13-14 (NLT)
Knowing Jesus commands us to forgive is one thing, but finding the courage to do so is another.
How do I forgive?
By relinquishing my right to get even.
“ . . . Never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God, for He has said He will repay those who deserve it.” - Romans 12:19 (LB)
By responding to evil with good.
“ . . . Do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who mistreat you.” - Luke 6:27-28 (NIV)
By repeating these steps as long as necessary.
“Peter asked, ‘Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times? ‘No,’ Jesus replied. ‘Seventy times seven!’” - Matthew 18:21-22 (NLT)
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. – Hebrews 12:1 (NLT)
By rescuing others with the Good News of forgiveness.
“Through Christ, God made peace between us and Himself, and God gave us the work of telling everyone about the peace we can have with Him. God was in Christ, making peace between the world and Himself. In Christ, God did not hold the world guilty of its sins. And He gave us the message of peace. So we have been sent to speak for Christ!” - II Corinthians 5:18-20 (NCV)
The strength to forgive comes from God and grows when we begin to pray for the person.
“God doesn’t ask you to forgive to heal the other person. God asks you to forgive to heal you.” – Craig Groeschel
ILLUSTRATION: Corrie Ten Boom and the Nazi concentration camp guards
“I forgive you, brother!” I cried. “With all my heart.” For a long moment we grasped each other’s hands, the former guard and the former prisoner. I had never known God’s love so intensely, as I did then. But even so, I realized it is not my love. I had tried, and did not have the power. It was the power of the Holy Spirit.” – Corrie Ten Boom, ‘Tramp for the Lord,’ (1978)
How are our invisible burdens weighing us down in our journey today?
Jesus offers us freedom and peace in exchange for the bitterness and anger we experience in life due to a spirit of bitterness and unforgiveness.
Questions for Reflection:
Is there any bitterness in my life? If so, what is the root of it?
Have you ever experienced anyone feeling bitter toward you?
Have you met someone who had every right to hold on to feelings of hatred, anger, or bitterness, but chose to not indulge in the negative? What did you learn from their story?
How can remaining bitter affect our faith journey and relationship with God?
How can exchanging bitterness for freedom affect our relationship with God?
Have you asked God to work in and through you to free you from the excess baggage of bitterness and unforgiveness?